Imprinted Souls - The Missing Journals - Nicholas: Lexi's Choice
Today is Imprinted Souls' bookversary, and to celebrate it, here is the first entry for the Imprinted Souls' Missing Journals. This takes place after Blood Bound and before Shattered Souls, so there are spoilers...
The writing song:
Imprinted Souls - The Missing Journals
I was in pain, a lot of pain. The specks of silver that Adrianne threw on me were already in my skin, and I could slowly feel the silver spreading through my blood stream. I can’t say that fear of my being destroyed ever crossed my mind. I lived for longer than anyone was ever intended to, but I was afraid for her. I was afraid that with me gone, she would be left defenseless, because let’s face it, Tyler was useless, especially when it came to confronting his maker. He would never be able to defeat Loren, which meant that he would never be able to protect Lexi.
“How long do we have? There has to be something we can do,” she asked.
It was amusing to see how concerned she was. I wasn’t sure I could ever truly understand how she could be concerned about me, especially after what I did to her; yet, she never really blamed me.
There I was, slowly being destroyed and all I could think of was her… protecting her, kissing her. I finally told her there was one thing she could do for me. I brushed my fingers against her face, down to her neck. She just watched me. My eyes locked on hers, I pulled her toward me and kissed her.
In my mind, that was my last kiss, and I wanted so much more than that. I wished I could have more time with her. I wished she felt about me, the way she felt about him. Surprisingly, I was the first to pull away from that kiss.
“See, now I can die a happy man… well, I mean die again.”
She rolled her eyes and said I was delirious, and it was as if everything was back to normal again, until I felt weakened and I knew the silver was spreading faster.
Lexi wanted to know who was with Adrianne. She knew Adrianne would never be able to pull that off on her own, and eventually, I told her. She didn’t seem that surprised to find out that Tyler had been there; still, through our imprint, I could tell that the thought of that was hurtful.
I offered her the freedom that she would get anyway, but surprisingly, she didn’t want to go after Tyler, and what surprised me even more was Lexi giving me the vial of blood that contained angel-blood. I knew what that vial meant. It would free Tyler from his maker, but it was also my only hope, and I drank it.
I felt its’ power right away. I felt my strength returning and my senses heightened. I was stronger than I had ever been, and that power became so overwhelming that things started to get confused.
I couldn’t exactly make sense of what Lexi was telling me, of what she was asking me to do.
At first, I noticed her hesitation. I sat up on the bed, staring into her eyes, “You regret giving me his blood, don’t you? I knew that sooner or later you would regret it, I just didn’t think it would be this fast.”
Lexi shook her head. “Of course I don’t regret it. It’s just that—”
I leaned forward, moving a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Well, what is it then?”
She shrugged. “Nothing that you should worry about. You still need to heal.”
“Actually, I’m feeling pretty good. Tell me!” I said in a firm tone.
Lexi sighed. “I have to ask you something.”
I was practically attacked by the wave of emotions coming from Lexi. Emotions that I could pick up from our blood imprint, but that were now so much stronger.
“Nicholas, I want you to take me away from here. I don’t want to see Tyler, Adrianne, Loren… ever again. I just want you to make me forget them… forget him,” she blushed and looked away.
I froze. I watched her expression, taking her in. For a second, I even wondered if I was imagining things.
“That is a lot to ask.”
“I know… I’m not asking you to jump in a relationship, Nicholas. You are who you are and I’m certain that I would be the last person capable of changing that. I just need to get away, and with you,” she shrugged, “there is just no drama. Things are as close to normal as they can get whenever I’m with you.”
If there was one thing that never changed about me, was that I was damaged goods; yet, what Lexi didn’t know was that she was the only person with the slightest chance of changing who I was, but I didn’t want to be changed. I knew that if I did, eventually, Tyler would come around and I didn’t want to go through that. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice… well, I went hundreds of years without loving anyone and I was fighting not to change that.
I knew how she felt about him. I could feel it through our maker-minion imprint. She loved him and probably always would. I knew that if I accepted her request, I would have to avoid getting even more attached to her, because there would always be that chance that one day, she changed her mind and went back to Tyler.
“Well, Little Minion, I’m pleased by the offer… but I’m just not sure.”
“Do you love me?”
Even the sound of that word felt strange to me. I just stared at her blankly, not knowing what to say.
“Nicholas, I see the way that you look at me. I want to be with someone who loves me, someone who is easy to be with, without the whole world falling apart around us.”
“I will take you away, Lexi. I’ll make sure they don’t get near you, but… as appealing as the offer is, I’m not sure I want to be your rebound guy.”
“I would never do that to you,” but even she didn’t believe her words. “I do have feelings for you, Nicholas. We can take it one day at a time. To me, Tyler is like Adrianne was to you. He is toxic. I don’t want that. I want normal. I want you.”
I shook my head and laughed. “Little Minion, there is nothing normal about any of us.”
“Maybe not, but you are what I want,” said Lexi.
She seemed so sure that this time, I almost believed her. Still, I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t. She wasn’t asking me to make her any promises other than taking her away. Maybe I could take this one-day at a time. How could I even consider saying no to her?
I stared at Lexi, wondering if that was what she really wanted, and this time, she picked up my uncertainty through our imprint. She leaned closer, placing her hand on my chest, and her lips close to mine. She whispered, “I’m not her, Nick. I would never hurt you like that.” She moved even closer and her lips were on mine. I kissed her back and I knew that any amount time with her would be better than no time at all.
©2012 Daniele Lanzarotta. May not be reprinted or reproduced in any manner, written, electronic or otherwise without express permission of author.